Barbie Cakes

One of my new guilty pleasures is “Whatever Martha” on the Fine Living Channel. I love the sarcastic attitude of Martha’s daughter, Alexis and her friend, Jennifer. Finally, there’s someone who’s more of a smart-ass than me and she makes me laugh hysterically.

If you haven’t seen it, the show pokes fun at Martha Stewart and admits what I’ve known for years, that only Martha Stewart can be Martha Stewart. Anyone else trying to copy the crap that Martha does on her show is not worthy of such perfection and automatically feels inferior.

A recent show on Barbie Cakes caught my eye. Note: I never owned a Barbie. I’m confident I’m the only American girl never to have owned a Barbie, but apparently, I never asked for one, so my mom passed on Barbie in favor of regular baby dolls that got diaper rash when I poured water on its butt. What damage that’s all done to my psyche I have no idea? A realist from birth, I guess! I knew then that Barbie’s figure and life was just a myth and unattainable, so to mere mortals, like me I’d be changing diapers. This of course, remains yet to be seen. However, I’m pretty sure I won’t get Barbie’s body anytime soon, no matter how many hours I spend at the gym or the plastic surgeon.

Back to the cakes! Once the show demonstrated how the Barbie Cake was created, I was horrified to find this to be a rated R exercise. First, to shove her naked body in the hole of three bunt cakes seemed abusive, as if we’re trying to hide the fact that underneath all that icing and layers of yellow cake is a naked girl who once had beautiful clothes and a Dream House. Then to decorate her perfect, perky 34D chest with pink and green flowers frightened me. I could only imagine kids in their moment of sugar ecstasy finding pleasure out of licking the frosting off Barbie’s upper half. Then somewhere a camera happy parent would snap the shot in the spirit of it being cute, which the photo would inevitably find its way onto Facebook where it would be shared from parent to parent until it went viral and was being discussed on the water cooler segment of GMA. This series of events gives me cause for concern and I take a moment to pause.

Doesn’t Barbie deserve more respect than being regulated to a kid’s fantasy for sugar-coated breasts? I think so. Say no, to the Barbie Cake!