My Light for Hope Goes Out

For nearly 20 years, I was an avid viewer of The Guiding Light. This week Guiding Light came to an end. After 72 years, it became a victim of low ratings, but more sadly, a victim of a dying genre.  Some of my first memories were of Guiding Light. I vividly remember my mom taking a break from housework to watch in the early 70’s. I was only 3 or 4 then, but I can remember the characters and how I thought they were the prettiest people. I specifically, remember the character, Holly, who had beautiful, long, flowing red hair. My mom kept my hair short when I was little, so I was envious of her long locks. I even wore a turtleneck on my head to try and replicate Holly’s hair.

Over ten years ago, I stopped watching Guiding Light when I traded a school schedule for a work schedule and discovered that I could no longer build a schedule around the 3 to 4 slot allotted to my Springfield friends.  I tried to keep up through VCR recording, but I found that the 5 hours to catch up on Saturday really dug into my weekends. In 1998, I had to say my own good-bye. Good-bye to Josh, Reva, Phillip and Beth…oh, this was so hard. I felt as if I was giving up on them, on the hope that they’d find each other again and live happily ever after.  Their love stories fueled my belief that love can conquer all, and that some people are just destined, no matter the circumstances.  Sometimes I wonder if my addiction to Guiding Light all those years possibly scorned me or deluded my sense of love?  Crazy, I know, but the Josh/Reva love story was one I was sure I was destined to live out.  

Yesterday, I watched the final episode. Not an overly surprising finale, but satisfying.  I had been tuning in the last few months to try and figure out how they’d wrap so much up in just a short amount of time. Just a month ago, Reva was longing for Jeffrey and recovering from Cancer. How could she get back with Josh when one day in Soap time is equal to one month in real time? It seemed that my 20 year commitment to the show would all be for naught. Yet, yesterday, I finally got the happy ending that I had longed for all those years. All my Springfield friends were happy and where they were suppose to be! No more one night stands, affairs, murder accusations, or illegitimate children eventually claimed by the town’s oil tycoon. Everyone found love—even Josh and Reva, as they drove into the sunset, together.  I’m not sure why I ever doubted this, but I had to tune in, just to make sure they got their happy ending.  After all, I had given them 20 years of my life, I felt I deserved a happily ever after.

And so, Guiding Light is no more. Part of my past is complete. Another chapter concluded.  My Springfield friends have gone their separate ways and the hope for happily ever after is no more. See, what I realized is that Soaps no matter how stupid, delusional or far-fetched, give us hope, they feed our longing for happiness, for the fairytale.  Because in the end, don’t we all just want to live happily ever after?