Amy’s Adventures

Easter, circa 1978. I hated this dress!

Like every other little girl in 1976 I wanted to be Dorothy Hamill. Unfortunately, the closest I ever got to being women’s figure skating Olympic champion was this haircut. I begged for lessons and tried to convince my mom that my dance costumes could do double duty on the ice.

There were just a few problems with my plan. There weren’t many rinks in NC and it rarely snowed more than 2 inches. Simply, NC was not a haven for winter sport athletes. After all, why would you want to be a figure skater when you could be a little league cheerleader?

I was confident. Despite the fact that I had never been on skates, I knew I was a skating prodigy waiting to be break loose. After all, I could pull my head through my legs and do Cirque-Solie things with my body.

Well, we all know how this story ended. I didn’t become Olympic Figure Skating Champion. My six year old ambition wasn’t enough.  I moved on, and yes made the cheerleading squad on my first try. Yeah, for me. I learned to yell loud and wave poms poms on cue. I guess yelling out loud was my gift.

Initially, I was very weary of following the winter Olympics after I had already medaled in the DC snowpocalypse of 2010. Yet I found myself choosing men’s figure skating over Carolina basketball. This year, this is not a hard decision and fortunately, the winter gods have given me a diversion from this atrocious basketball season. My diversion: men’s figure skating. Typically, I hate men’s figure skating. Mostly it’s their costumes and music that turn me off. Men in sequins skating around to music that can push a bipolar person over the edge is not my idea of sport.

Nevertheless, I tuned in to watch the USA versus Russia drama. By now we all know how that turned out and everyone outside Russia agrees the Russian dude is just a poor sport. However, what no one is talking about is how Evan Lysacek looks a lot like the kid from Ugly Betty.

Evan Lysacek, 2010 Gold Medalist

Mark Indelicato from Ugly Betty

As the snow is falling again inside the DC beltway, we’re appealing to a higher power for no more snow!

Lately, I’ve caught myself saying, “remember when.”  This phrase is frightening , yet unavoidable. So instead of  fighting it I will embrace it.

Remember when:

• You could get a deal on ebay
• E-cards were free
• You talked on the phone instead of Facebook or Twitter
• You could remember telephone numbers because they weren’t listed in your cell phone
• You went to the Dr. instead of self-diagnosing via WebMD or by watching Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil
• There was only 1 remote control (This may only be me b/c I can’t figure out how to combine all 4)
• Starbucks was for drinking coffee, not an office
• Photography was art and not a mantel of candids
• Stores closed on Sunday or opened at 1PM
• You paid cash for groceries and gas

When have you said, remember when?

Anyone that knows me, knows I’d rather be in on a beach in the middle of a hurricane than endure a major snow storm. Apparently, God has my number and is testing me this year. In just the past  8 weeks, He’s thrown 40+ inches on me–a total that exceeds the total amount of snow I’ve seen in my lifetime.  I really try to be a good sport about it by stocking up on wine and taking advantage of the time to catch up on Dr. Phil and The Vampire Diaries. But after three days pre-storm hype, then round the clock storm central news coverage, followed by post-storm messiness, I’m exhausted and ready for those daffodils to pop out of the ground.

My Storm Pet Peeves:

1) Dumb News Casters - It seems winter storms are the prime opportunity for local news casters to see who can be dumber all the name of ratings. Case in point: the stupid news caster from NBC that was driving down Wisconsin Avenue last night doing a live broadcast during the height of the storm.  And I love that they had to emphasize, “don’t try this at home.”

2) Round the clock news coverage -The 2 ft of snow looks the same in DC, Maryland and Virginia.  And how many times do you need to tell me to “hunker down” or “the roads are impassable and treacherous?” Yes, they’re are the idiots who try and pick up their dry cleaning in the mess, but for most of us common sense prevails when we look out our windows. Does this all really demand 24 hour coverage? Can a simple periodic news break or scrolling ticker not solve the same purpose?

3) Stupid drivers -You may have grown up in the midwest and “know” how to drive in the snow, but that doesn’t give you a license to joy ride through the city.  If you don’t have a 4X4 in this mess, it really doesn’t matter where you grew up…you’re not getting far.

4) Toilet Paper, Milk and Bread- Seriously, I don’t understand the rush on these items before every storm. This is not Little House in the Prairie. We live in a major metropolitan area with the resources to clear roads. At the most, you may be inconvienced for a few days, but unless you have irritable bowel syndrome or down to nothing but eggs and diet coke why the mad rush?  The caveat here is of course, booze!

5) Doppler Radar - Yes, this is a great tracking tool, but do we really need to see it every five minutes? Like our friends the news casters, winter storms are  great opportunity for geeky weather dudes to pull out all their fancy toys. It becomes a competition on who’s tool is bigger and better. (Probably a reason majority of weather geeks are men.) Seriously, I don’t care,  just tell me how much and when it’ll stop.

6) Uncleared vehicles - You have 24 inches of snow on top of your car and you decide to drive it without clearing it off, thinking you’ll just let the wind blow it off. Thanks you “SOB”! Now, I have white out conditions while driving behind you.

I write all this after 36 hours of cabin fever and a 1/2 bottle of wine. Give me ’til tomorrow and the remainder supply of my wine and I’m sure I’ll come up with more.  Do you have any storm pet peeves?