Rites of Pasaage or Rite of Liberation

High school, college graduation, first boyfriend, first heartbreak, first car, marriage and kids are all rites of passage most Americans manage through or for some suffer through. Growing up, however, I never questioned that I wouldn’t partake of these standard, yet extraordinary rites of passage. Dare I say that I felt entitled to experience each rite of passage?

Lately, I’ve come to realize that these age-defining moments are not to be assumed. Nope. I’ve come to accept that kids, at least those that derive from my womb just may not happen. It’s a struggle many single-women in their 30′s must face and ultimately accept. We accept that the odds for us conceiving, giving birth and having someone call us mom is not in our favor. Yes, I still believe in Godly interventions and miracles, but the realist in me accepts that I will become the real life statistic that women after the age of 35 have a better chance of being hijaked by a terroist than bear new life, therfore, we begin to visualize our life kid-free. A rite of liberation where I’ve discovered that my life can be just as fullfulling without strollers, car seats and car pools.

What is this life you ask? It’s trips to Fiji, Thailand or wherever else my heart desires. It’s using my savings on a facelift at 50 rather than private school tuition. It’s knowing that at 60 I can buy that 2nd house on the beach without worrying if my kid will go to college or become a student of the world. It’s avoiding the inevitable that your kid will at some point in life hate you, hopefully for only their teenage years, and if they do decide to like you again, then it’s probably comes at the same time they leave.

At this point in my life I just don’t see the purpose. After all, God knows best and there’s a reason women are more fertile in their 20′s–they’re young and naive. Women on the outskirts of their child-bearing years just ask the questions, “why” “for what?” We’ve lived life alone, child-free and see that our lives can be just as rich, dare I say, richer without dirty diapers and birthday parties.

All this, selfish, maybe, but liberating, yes!