Ten Things Single Women Over 35 Hate to Hear

Disclaimer: I’m a little bitter right now.

1. As soon as you stop looking he’ll show up. A classic that’s been tried and tested. I stopped looking for guys in favor of Buffy, Angel and Spike, so clearly he’s not on my Tivo playlist.

2. You have to put yourself out there. Which is it folks? Put yourself out there or stop looking. This is just confusing.

3. You’re better off anyway. There might be some truth to this one, but it comes across as condescending, and totally turns off a 35 NBM girl.

4. I know someone of someone of someone who met a great guy on match. Sorry kids, but that’s just a numbers game, plain and simple. I might as well as play PowerBall and settle with my chances of winning the big one. .

5. You’re so pretty, I can’t believe no one’s snatched you up yet. Yeah, I don’t get this one either. Dumb boys, I guess, don’t know a good thing when they see it.

6. Don’t give up, he’ll come when you’re ready. Have you not been listening? Women over the age of 35 have been dating since the age of 15, we’re ready.

7. Have you tried (fill in the blank)? No thanks, I don’t need dating advice from someone who hasn’t dated since Carter was president.

8. It’s so hard to find quality men today. Duh?? Every guy over the age of 40 is either gay or so damaged they’ve moved back home with mom.

9.All you have to do is believe and it will be yours. Yeah, if that’s so, “the one” has apparently lost my address.

10. There must be more for you to learn about yourself. Of course there is, but I’ve learned enough to know that at my age the odds are not in my favor, and that I have a better chance of dying in a terrorist attack than finding love. Oh the joy!!