Today I got overwhelmed thinking of all the possibilities. I haven’t been this untethered since I was a newly minted college graduate waiting tables (poorly as I recall) and living night to night, hangover to hangover, until I got tired of living with three other people and the only way I could live on my own was to get an adult job that required me to get up before noon and wear shoes with a leather sole.
I go to the gym to work it out and contemplate it all. Maybe a good 80’s playlist will inspire me to climb Mt. Everest, then I reconsider, maybe Machu Picchu(I am a realist after all). Thirty minutes into my cardio I’m ready to call it and get the hell out of there because I hate the gym despite going five times a week–my mind is still spinning contemplating all the options, the decisions, the dilemmas: should I go to the Peace Corps, am I saving enough money for retirement, should I stay where I am, get a new place with a pool, I really want a job in London or Paris, maybe Frankfurt, how can I make that happen and do I really want to live in CLT for the rest of my life? Ugh, so many questions and no answers–the only clear thing in my mind is that I can drink wine tonight because I’ve had a good workout.
But then my iPod shuffles to the Footloose soundtrack–cue in, Holding out for a Hero. Hell yes, this is it–this is the possibility that I most desire, the one that keeps me up at night.
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need
I sing the words with the conviction of an innocent man on death row:
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
And so dear friends, I have endless possibilities in front of me, some scare me, some excite me and somehow I’m gonna figure out how to live overseas at some point in my life, but the possibility of a hero, now that’s something to hold out for.