Thanks to John Hughes, Gen-X learned life lessons early.

Today, another Gen-X’er turns 40.  Instead of crawling under my sheets and over-dosing on Geritol and  Ben & Jerry’s, I went out to get my semi-annual 20 units of Botox, then channeled my inner-Zhivago as I sipped vodka at the Russia House and reflected on the life lessons of this Breakfast Club, Gen-X’er.

1. Quality friends are more rewarding than quantity. Especially in the age of social networking, I’m thankful that I have high standards for “friending” folks, the reward is immense in support, commaradiere, laughs and well simply, “they get me and I get them.”

2. Sunscreen is the best anti-aging product.

3. International travel is essential to appreciate the wisdom of our founding fathers, and despite our government’s shortcoming’s, we live in the best country in the world.

4. Trends you thought would never come back do. You only get one shot to wear a trend. If you’re old enough to have lived through the trend the first time, you’re too old to take part the second, third time around. I never thought leggings or flipped collars would come back, but they did.

5. The more crap you have the more you have to move. Live in a small house and you’ll be forced to clean out at least two times a year.

6. Keep old love letters. It reminds you of those few, but very special people that came into your life and touched your core, for which you were never the same.

7. Keep a journal. You’ll be amazed at the strength you had when you couldn’t imagine how you’d ever survive without him in your life. Your life is a story only you can tell and over time, you’ll see that when you thought life was boring, non-eventful, you were indeed, having amazing adventures.You’ll also discover that you’re pretty awesome, yet beautifully flawed.

8. Never stop learning. This keeps your mind active and makes you more interesting.

9. There is no perfect job or utopia work place. Every place I’ve worked and will work in the future has their own brand of crazy. The trick is finding the place that gels with your own crazy.

10. Keep a diverse group of friends who are older, younger, from different parts of the country and world than you. By leaving my home state, NC, early in life, my world opened up to people and places I never imagined I’d see. Each person, each place, transformed me to see the world through lenses other than those of my traditional, southern roots. From this, I learned so much about how others view men/women, politics, child-rearing and traditions, that I am enriched daily.

11. Buying a power drill opens the door to endless household projects you can easily do yourself and makes you extremely self sufficient.

12. As much as I hate it, work out at least three times a week. I’m confident I’d be a gastric bypass candidate if I didn’t commit to this when I turned 25.

13. Pick a college major that you’re passionate about, no matter what your parents want you to do. Unless you believe your calling is to be a doctor or nurse, your major will have little to do with your job and ultimate career path. If I had buckled to the pressure to be a nurse or business major, I would’ve missed out on the beauty of Shakespeare and Jane Austen. Fast forward 17 years, I turned out okay and have worked with global Fortune 100 companies.

14. Have an appreciation for something. Just because I wasn’t destined to be a prima ballerina or the 21st century’s Ansel Adams doesn’t mean I don’t love the ballet or a photo exhibit. These are true artists and I appreciate their gifts and talents.

15. Eating dinner alone doesn’t make you a loser. It makes you a confident, independent woman!

16. After the 2nd glass of wine, all wine tastes the same.

17. With enough money, you can pay people to do almost anything for you. No longer, do I feel like I have to do it all.

18. There is always going to be someone who is smarter, prettier, skinnier than you, but for everyone of those there are countless others for which you are their ideal.

19. There is no shame in plastic surgery or Botox.

20. Your vote does count. Just look to Florida 2000 if you don’t think so.

21. A home without a cat is just a house.

22. Second chances come back for a reason, but look carefully before you leap back in, sometimes it’s a distraction to side-track you from where you’re meant to be.

23. Relationships require work.

24. Every year make goals, not resolutions. Goals are things we want to do versus resolutions are behaviors we don’t like about ourselves. I’m much more inclined to achieve what I want to do rather than change about me I don’t.  This tactic makes me feel more successful year after year. Even the little things, like learning how to sew or how to install a ceiling fan, brings me satisfaction that I can do anything I set out to do.

25. You can solve almost anything by typing your question into Google.

26. You can never watch your favorite movie too many times. I have no clue as to how many times I’ve seen The Sound of Music, but I never miss an opportunity to watch and see if the Von Trapps make it out of Austria safely.

27. Going out on New Year’s Eve is overrated. Go to bed early and wake up refreshed to a new year, feeling that anything is possible.

28. Karma’s a bitch–that stupid boy that dumped you and left you devastated for months will get his someday, and it’ll be 100x worse than what you experienced. Trust me on this one!

29. Work will never love you back, so why invest your heart and soul? Do the work, go home at a decent hour and love your life and have it love you back.

30. Contribute to your 401K as often and as much as you can. It’s glaringly obvious social security will not “secure” Gen-X’s future.

31. When you buy a house, put money down on it. This makes you an investor  and a home owner.

32. Keep up with technology. If you do, you can shave at least 5-10 years off your real age.

33. You’ll inevitably say, “I remember when…” and then feel like “when” wasn’t so long ago.

34. Don’t wait around for other people to come into your life. Go out and find them. I credit Twitter and a solo trip to China where I found people with whom I now count as friends.

35. Vacation time and flexibility is more important than a higher salary. After all, I’ve resigned to the fact that I’ll be working til I’m 80, so between now and then I need more than a couple weeks off a year.

36. There is no happily ever after. Life is more complicated, twisted and bumpy than what Disney had us believe.

37. Traditions are meant to be broken. Pave your own path, make your own traditions. Just because you’ve always done it one way doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it that way.

38. Always say “please” and “thank you.” It goes a long way in creating strong relationships.

39. Hold onto your values. Not everyone’s going to agree with you and that’s okay, it’s what makes you, you.

40. And finally, in the words of  Miles from “Risky Business:”  Sometimes you gotta say “WTF”, make your move, and every now and then saying, “WTF,” brings freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future.”

New Skills Acquired 

1. How to install a ceiling fan by myself. It’s no easy task and yes, it takes longer than the average 30-60 minutes recommended by the instructions, but it can be done. Now, every time as I’m lounging on the sofa and look up to the ceiling and see the fan  rotating without shaking or fear of falling down, I have a sense of pride for what I can do with a little extra time and persistence.

2. How to sew. Something I had wanted to learn years ago, but never took the time. When I found myself in between projects, I suddenly discovered this was the time I had been waiting for. Only a month after my first class, I had completed over 10 projects, and vowed to make 90% of my Christmas gifts. Again, I love a sense of accomplishment after each project.

Lessons Learned

1. Cherish the past, but don’t go back.  Every moment of our lives, every person we encounter molds us into the sculpture we are today. Once the hammer chips at the clay, there’s no going back.  Love the people you’ve met along the way, cherish the memories, but keep moving ahead and don’t settle for what was once comfortable and familiar. The comforts of yesterday only hold you back.

2. Put yourself out there (sometimes). Okay, so I’m not the best at this, but I’m finding with age that putting yourself in situations to be more vulnerable with the possibility of getting hurt is not all that bad. Yes, sometimes people won’t return messages and they’ll blow you off, but at this point I’m good on my own, so I really just don’t care.

2011 Theme Song

And finally, for the 3rd year in a row, I’ve selected a theme song to summarize the year. This year was tough as it was a very reflective kind of year,  but I believe this one said it best.

Don’t Rain on My Parade

Don’t tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life’s candy and the sun’s a ball of butter
Don’t bring around a cloud to rain on my parade
Don’t tell me not to fly, I simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it’s me and not you
Who told you you’re allowed to rain on my parade
I’ll march my band out, I’ll beat my drum
And if I’m fanned out, your turn at bat, sir
At least I didn’t fake it, hat, sir
I guess I didn’t make it
But whether I’m the rose of sheer perfection
A freckle on the nose of life’s complexion
The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?
Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see,
I gotta have my bite, sir.
Get ready for me love, ’cause I’m a “comer”
I simply gotta march, my heart’s a drummer
Don’t bring around the cloud to rain on my parade,

I’m gonna live and live NOW!
Get what I want, I know how!
One roll for the whole shebang!
One throw that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target and wham,
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, Mr. Arnstein, here I am …

I’ll march my band out, I will beat my drum,
And if I’m fanned out, your turn at bat, sir,
At least I didn’t fake it, hat, sir,
I guess I didn’t make it
Get ready for me love, ’cause I’m a “comer”
I simply gotta march, my heart’s a drummer
Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on my parade!

This year, the list although short, it’s long in quality.

1. My Genes.  I am so blessed to have long and healthy genes. My grandparents and great-grandparents on both sides lived well into their 80′s and 90′s, so I’m hopeful that despite my calendar age, I am not yet considered middle-age.

2. There’s only 348 days until the general election. It’s no secret I’m not a fan of the current White House occupants, but no matter what side of the aisle you route for, you’re guaranteed that every four years you get a new choice. And this year, I’m extra thankful that  there are fewer days than more days to choose new White House residents.

3. A healthy weight. This is a hard one because what woman wouldn’t be happier 10 pounds lighter?  However, when I look at the inside and  my numbers (cholesterol, blood pressure, resting heart rate), it’s hard to dispute that the number on the scale, is just that–a number.  And with exercise and a good diet, I can only get better.

4. Nieces & nephews.  Since I don’t have kids of my own, I’m especially thankful for these four kids who give me so much joy without the pain of childbirth.

5. Life. It doesn’t get any simpler than life. I’m very thankful to be alive.

2010 Thanksgiving List

2009 Thanksgiving List

Yes, believing in something is vital today’s complex and dysfunctional world, but to believe in isolation is incomplete, a dangling participle, waiting for the the antecedent to take it’s rightful place. Belief without action might as well be  no belief at all.

As I see it, the older we get the more we have to have substance to support our beliefs. Just sitting around idly waiting for something to happen just because we believe it’s suppose to or that it is meant to be is foolish. Even more so, it takes the onus off you for making something happen. You project all your beliefs onto others, spout out philosophical BS, but when it comes down to doing something, to putting yourself out there, you shy away. It’s a coward’s way out.

I do believe we need to believe that good things are out there for us, but to just sit there and say so without taking action, moving forward and showing the world what we want is far from what I believe.  No doubt , it takes courage to go for it and move forward to what you want. The  looming fear of rejection and ridicule is huge. But  if you’re going to believe in it then I say, stand up and take action. Otherwise, sit down and shut up.

It’s an annual rite of passage for parents and kids alike.  An event I haven’t participated in since Fall of 1994.  But this year, I came across a post that gave me pause: a reminder that there’s not only a new generation of back to schooler’s,  but a whole new mindset.

A few of my favorite’s from the  full list:

• O.J. Simpson has always been looking for the killers of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
• Women have never been too old to have children.
• Ferris Bueller and Sloane Peterson could be their parents.
• Jimmy Carter has always been a smiling elderly man who shows up on TV to promote fair elections and disaster relief.
• They’ve always wanted to be like Shaq or Kobe: Michael Who?
• Amazon has never been just a river in South America,
• Refer to LBJ, and they might assume you’re talking about LeBron James.
• Sears has never sold anything out of a “Big Book” that could also serve as a doorstop.

I know many of you will say, that the loss of lives in NC and VA  demonstrates the dangerous impact of the storm. And though, I don’t underplay the loss of life in any natural disaster, people do die in these storms no matter how big or small. It’s a hurricane fact.

Today, as I awoke with no power (and no, I didn’t bitch; loss of power in storms is expected. And though you hope it doesn’t happen to you, it does happen, and the power company is working as hard as they can to get you back online–Patience is key, which I’ve found many in the Commonwealth do not have) wondering if it would be a few hours or a few days before my power was restored, I began to reflect on previous hurricane experience, namely Hugo in 1989. I concluded that  my prediction on Irene was on target: She had nothing on Hugo. Let me break it down:

1. A sound sleeper, I was awakened at 2AM to windows that were given life from the 70mph winds. They breathed in and out waiting to explode with a force only a priest could exorcise.

2. The landscape outside my  animated bedroom window was a world of 90 degree angles. Pine trees, flowers and  bushes were schooled in the lessons of high school geometry.

3. The day after the storm and for two weeks afterwards, the chimes of chainsaws were heard in neighborhoods for hundreds of miles.

4. Everything and I mean everything was closed. The luckiest folks in town were those in the hospital.

5. No school for nearly two weeks. It wasn’t as fun as it sounds. When you’re 17 and there’s no power, you’re bored and even school begins to look like fun.

6. Two days post storm and still no power, I actually looked forward to work. They had power at the mall. I dried and curled my hair in the store’s stock room.

7. In the south, many still live off well water, which means many didn’t have water for weeks. Fortunately, I was not one of them, but my house became a refuge for those who needed hot showers.

8. Listening to the radio from your car was the only connection you had to anything outside your neighborhood. Landlines worked so word of mouth was also a lifeline.

9. Three days post storm, my mom and I get power at the house, but there were many that went two or more weeks without it. In today’s ADD culture and dependence on electrical devices (e.g. iPad, laptop, WiFi), it’s no wonder folks whine at the power company when they go more than six hours without power.

And finally,  according to media reports,  New Yorker’s believed this to be a disaster of a storm.  Well thanks to Hugo for my hurricane survival badge.  After that one, no storm since has seemed that big of  a deal. It’s actually quite simple: hunker down, ride it through and pack your patience.

Hanging outside as Hurricane Bertha comes through Greenville, NC

With all the over zealous news reporting of  Hurricane Irene and the minute-by-minute projections of the Irene’s whereabouts, I’m reminded of a few key Hurricane survival tips  that may go unreported by mainstream media.

1. Yes, the power may go out (sorry Marylander’s this is a given), which means you may not have hot water. Take your shower now and prepare to look like ass for a few days.

2. Befriend  neighbors with grills.  When your chicken’s hours from extinction, those neighbors can be a lot more fun than you originally gave them credit.

3. Go old school. Read, work puzzles, draw, paint, write(by hand).

4. Don’t suffer in silence. Have a party and play truth or dare or spin the bottle.

5. Drink a lot of wine  and  go to bed early. Or for some of you, pass out.

6. Pray! After three days of “camping” in your home (thanks Hugo for that experience), you’ll need the grace of a Higher Power to survive without TV, Internet, AC, a hairdryer, flat iron and a cold beer.

7.  Turn off the news and ride out the adventure.

Yet, there’s something about the most recent boom of “The’s” that doesn’t ring in my ear, success.

• The Five
• The Chew
• The Talk
• The Help
• The Revolution

After all, once upon a time there was a little web project, named, The Facebook. Makes me wonder if dropping “the” helped it’s cause to become a worldwide phenomenon? Just a thought.