My Granddaddy loved clocks. His favorite was the cuckoo clock his sister-in-law bought him on her trip to Germany. As a kid I waited on the hour for that cuckoo to pop out. This is one of my fondest memories of being at my grandparents house. My Granddaddy died over 10 years ago, and when I asked what happened to the cuckoo clock, I was informed that it was thrown away. See, my family believes that once something stops working it has no purpose, no more life to give. My rational side says, it’s just stuff and to get over it, but my emotional side misses that damn clock and the childhood memories it conjures.

So this past December after another family heirloom was ditched, I decided that it was time I went after my own clock, my own family memory, heirloom. And so I began extensive research in planning a trip through the Black Forest in search of my own clock that will remind me not only of my Granddaddy, but also a remembrance not to give up on anyone or anything that gives you joy.

Let the search begin….

While it feels good to rid myself of old t-shirts, shorts and mountains of black shoes, I’m digging deeper.  Cleansing out, unlike cleaning out, is ridding myself of the emotional stuff. It’s the stuff that not only takes up space in our closets, but unloads every fiber and piece of matter onto our hearts. These aren’t those things that you hold on to because you might need them later or are treasured family heirlooms. Nope, it’s the stuff that you haven’t used, listened to, or worn in 15 years, but can’t bear to part with it because of the memories attached to it. For some, it can be concert t-shirts, others it may be a CD collection,  even kitchenware. Whatever it is, it hasn’t been used in over 10 years, yet you still keep it around as some sort of  adult security blanket.  Just knowing it’s in the clear storage bin at the bottom of 10 other storage bins in the back of your storage closet makes you feel secure.

Yes, I’m an emotional collector. I hold onto stuff much longer than I need to because I’m afraid of letting go of the memory, that specific moment in time.  Emotional cleansing is hard, and more often than not, I have to be ready to let go. When I hit this point,  my heart has said “good-bye”  and I finally recognize that riding myself of the stuff doesn’t translate to riding me of the memories. After all, don’t we have Facebook for all that now?

And today it looks as if spring seems to have finally made it’s 2012 debut.  The windows are open and once again the roar of 395 serenades me  as I respond to emails, update websites and edit copy throughout the work day. The clock’s sprung ahead this past weekend and it seems as though that prompted to shed the cocoon of the past two months and take in the joy that is spring. Cheers for daffodils, Bradford Pear trees, March Madness,  in a few weeks the Cherry Blossoms, and of course patio dining infused with pitchers of sangria. Let’s get this spring started!

Thanks to John Hughes, Gen-X learned life lessons early.

Today, another Gen-X’er turns 40.  Instead of crawling under my sheets and over-dosing on Geritol and  Ben & Jerry’s, I went out to get my semi-annual 20 units of Botox, then channeled my inner-Zhivago as I sipped vodka at the Russia House and reflected on the life lessons of this Breakfast Club, Gen-X’er.

1. Quality friends are more rewarding than quantity. Especially in the age of social networking, I’m thankful that I have high standards for “friending” folks, the reward is immense in support, commaradiere, laughs and well simply, “they get me and I get them.”

2. Sunscreen is the best anti-aging product.

3. International travel is essential to appreciate the wisdom of our founding fathers, and despite our government’s shortcoming’s, we live in the best country in the world.

4. Trends you thought would never come back do. You only get one shot to wear a trend. If you’re old enough to have lived through the trend the first time, you’re too old to take part the second, third time around. I never thought leggings or flipped collars would come back, but they did.

5. The more crap you have the more you have to move. Live in a small house and you’ll be forced to clean out at least two times a year.

6. Keep old love letters. It reminds you of those few, but very special people that came into your life and touched your core, for which you were never the same.

7. Keep a journal. You’ll be amazed at the strength you had when you couldn’t imagine how you’d ever survive without him in your life. Your life is a story only you can tell and over time, you’ll see that when you thought life was boring, non-eventful, you were indeed, having amazing adventures.You’ll also discover that you’re pretty awesome, yet beautifully flawed.

8. Never stop learning. This keeps your mind active and makes you more interesting.

9. There is no perfect job or utopia work place. Every place I’ve worked and will work in the future has their own brand of crazy. The trick is finding the place that gels with your own crazy.

10. Keep a diverse group of friends who are older, younger, from different parts of the country and world than you. By leaving my home state, NC, early in life, my world opened up to people and places I never imagined I’d see. Each person, each place, transformed me to see the world through lenses other than those of my traditional, southern roots. From this, I learned so much about how others view men/women, politics, child-rearing and traditions, that I am enriched daily.

11. Buying a power drill opens the door to endless household projects you can easily do yourself and makes you extremely self sufficient.

12. As much as I hate it, work out at least three times a week. I’m confident I’d be a gastric bypass candidate if I didn’t commit to this when I turned 25.

13. Pick a college major that you’re passionate about, no matter what your parents want you to do. Unless you believe your calling is to be a doctor or nurse, your major will have little to do with your job and ultimate career path. If I had buckled to the pressure to be a nurse or business major, I would’ve missed out on the beauty of Shakespeare and Jane Austen. Fast forward 17 years, I turned out okay and have worked with global Fortune 100 companies.

14. Have an appreciation for something. Just because I wasn’t destined to be a prima ballerina or the 21st century’s Ansel Adams doesn’t mean I don’t love the ballet or a photo exhibit. These are true artists and I appreciate their gifts and talents.

15. Eating dinner alone doesn’t make you a loser. It makes you a confident, independent woman!

16. After the 2nd glass of wine, all wine tastes the same.

17. With enough money, you can pay people to do almost anything for you. No longer, do I feel like I have to do it all.

18. There is always going to be someone who is smarter, prettier, skinnier than you, but for everyone of those there are countless others for which you are their ideal.

19. There is no shame in plastic surgery or Botox.

20. Your vote does count. Just look to Florida 2000 if you don’t think so.

21. A home without a cat is just a house.

22. Second chances come back for a reason, but look carefully before you leap back in, sometimes it’s a distraction to side-track you from where you’re meant to be.

23. Relationships require work.

24. Every year make goals, not resolutions. Goals are things we want to do versus resolutions are behaviors we don’t like about ourselves. I’m much more inclined to achieve what I want to do rather than change about me I don’t.  This tactic makes me feel more successful year after year. Even the little things, like learning how to sew or how to install a ceiling fan, brings me satisfaction that I can do anything I set out to do.

25. You can solve almost anything by typing your question into Google.

26. You can never watch your favorite movie too many times. I have no clue as to how many times I’ve seen The Sound of Music, but I never miss an opportunity to watch and see if the Von Trapps make it out of Austria safely.

27. Going out on New Year’s Eve is overrated. Go to bed early and wake up refreshed to a new year, feeling that anything is possible.

28. Karma’s a bitch–that stupid boy that dumped you and left you devastated for months will get his someday, and it’ll be 100x worse than what you experienced. Trust me on this one!

29. Work will never love you back, so why invest your heart and soul? Do the work, go home at a decent hour and love your life and have it love you back.

30. Contribute to your 401K as often and as much as you can. It’s glaringly obvious social security will not “secure” Gen-X’s future.

31. When you buy a house, put money down on it. This makes you an investor  and a home owner.

32. Keep up with technology. If you do, you can shave at least 5-10 years off your real age.

33. You’ll inevitably say, “I remember when…” and then feel like “when” wasn’t so long ago.

34. Don’t wait around for other people to come into your life. Go out and find them. I credit Twitter and a solo trip to China where I found people with whom I now count as friends.

35. Vacation time and flexibility is more important than a higher salary. After all, I’ve resigned to the fact that I’ll be working til I’m 80, so between now and then I need more than a couple weeks off a year.

36. There is no happily ever after. Life is more complicated, twisted and bumpy than what Disney had us believe.

37. Traditions are meant to be broken. Pave your own path, make your own traditions. Just because you’ve always done it one way doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it that way.

38. Always say “please” and “thank you.” It goes a long way in creating strong relationships.

39. Hold onto your values. Not everyone’s going to agree with you and that’s okay, it’s what makes you, you.

40. And finally, in the words of  Miles from “Risky Business:”  Sometimes you gotta say “WTF”, make your move, and every now and then saying, “WTF,” brings freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future.”

New Skills Acquired 

1. How to install a ceiling fan by myself. It’s no easy task and yes, it takes longer than the average 30-60 minutes recommended by the instructions, but it can be done. Now, every time as I’m lounging on the sofa and look up to the ceiling and see the fan  rotating without shaking or fear of falling down, I have a sense of pride for what I can do with a little extra time and persistence.

2. How to sew. Something I had wanted to learn years ago, but never took the time. When I found myself in between projects, I suddenly discovered this was the time I had been waiting for. Only a month after my first class, I had completed over 10 projects, and vowed to make 90% of my Christmas gifts. Again, I love a sense of accomplishment after each project.

Lessons Learned

1. Cherish the past, but don’t go back.  Every moment of our lives, every person we encounter molds us into the sculpture we are today. Once the hammer chips at the clay, there’s no going back.  Love the people you’ve met along the way, cherish the memories, but keep moving ahead and don’t settle for what was once comfortable and familiar. The comforts of yesterday only hold you back.

2. Put yourself out there (sometimes). Okay, so I’m not the best at this, but I’m finding with age that putting yourself in situations to be more vulnerable with the possibility of getting hurt is not all that bad. Yes, sometimes people won’t return messages and they’ll blow you off, but at this point I’m good on my own, so I really just don’t care.

2011 Theme Song

And finally, for the 3rd year in a row, I’ve selected a theme song to summarize the year. This year was tough as it was a very reflective kind of year,  but I believe this one said it best.

Don’t Rain on My Parade

Don’t tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life’s candy and the sun’s a ball of butter
Don’t bring around a cloud to rain on my parade
Don’t tell me not to fly, I simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it’s me and not you
Who told you you’re allowed to rain on my parade
I’ll march my band out, I’ll beat my drum
And if I’m fanned out, your turn at bat, sir
At least I didn’t fake it, hat, sir
I guess I didn’t make it
But whether I’m the rose of sheer perfection
A freckle on the nose of life’s complexion
The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?
Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see,
I gotta have my bite, sir.
Get ready for me love, ’cause I’m a “comer”
I simply gotta march, my heart’s a drummer
Don’t bring around the cloud to rain on my parade,

I’m gonna live and live NOW!
Get what I want, I know how!
One roll for the whole shebang!
One throw that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target and wham,
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, Mr. Arnstein, here I am …

I’ll march my band out, I will beat my drum,
And if I’m fanned out, your turn at bat, sir,
At least I didn’t fake it, hat, sir,
I guess I didn’t make it
Get ready for me love, ’cause I’m a “comer”
I simply gotta march, my heart’s a drummer
Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on my parade!

This year, the list although short, it’s long in quality.

1. My Genes.  I am so blessed to have long and healthy genes. My grandparents and great-grandparents on both sides lived well into their 80′s and 90′s, so I’m hopeful that despite my calendar age, I am not yet considered middle-age.

2. There’s only 348 days until the general election. It’s no secret I’m not a fan of the current White House occupants, but no matter what side of the aisle you route for, you’re guaranteed that every four years you get a new choice. And this year, I’m extra thankful that  there are fewer days than more days to choose new White House residents.

3. A healthy weight. This is a hard one because what woman wouldn’t be happier 10 pounds lighter?  However, when I look at the inside and  my numbers (cholesterol, blood pressure, resting heart rate), it’s hard to dispute that the number on the scale, is just that–a number.  And with exercise and a good diet, I can only get better.

4. Nieces & nephews.  Since I don’t have kids of my own, I’m especially thankful for these four kids who give me so much joy without the pain of childbirth.

5. Life. It doesn’t get any simpler than life. I’m very thankful to be alive.

2010 Thanksgiving List

2009 Thanksgiving List

Yes, believing in something is vital today’s complex and dysfunctional world, but to believe in isolation is incomplete, a dangling participle, waiting for the the antecedent to take it’s rightful place. Belief without action might as well be  no belief at all.

As I see it, the older we get the more we have to have substance to support our beliefs. Just sitting around idly waiting for something to happen just because we believe it’s suppose to or that it is meant to be is foolish. Even more so, it takes the onus off you for making something happen. You project all your beliefs onto others, spout out philosophical BS, but when it comes down to doing something, to putting yourself out there, you shy away. It’s a coward’s way out.

I do believe we need to believe that good things are out there for us, but to just sit there and say so without taking action, moving forward and showing the world what we want is far from what I believe.  No doubt , it takes courage to go for it and move forward to what you want. The  looming fear of rejection and ridicule is huge. But  if you’re going to believe in it then I say, stand up and take action. Otherwise, sit down and shut up.