No I-95 traffic, no airport delays, crowded airplanes, or mad dashes to the mall for last-minute gifts. Not for me, not this year. Just a simple Christmas with Paxton, reflecting on the joyous reason for the season.
“But you’ll be alone,” people say. I don’t see it that way. I see it as an opportunity to find peace within yourself, and “Be still and know that I am God.”
If you’re like me, distractions, whatever form they take, for me it’s fighting traffic jams or getting frisked by TSA agents, the hustle and bustle of trying to see everybody and do everything in a 24 hour period, strip away the joy of what Christmas is all about, and brings out my inner Scrooge.
It’s been several years since I can truly say I enjoyed Christmas. It’s felt more of an obligation than a celebration. This is not a knock on my family, I actually like to visit, and reserve my trips for more quality time when the stress of the holiday is not hanging over everyone’s head like dried up mistloe. No, this is more of a result of growing up, becoming secure in myself, knowing what I want and having the courage to do it.
And what I wanted was a quiet, peaceful Christmas with Paxton, a few cocktails and midnight mass at my local parish rather than being a visitor at Saint Gabe’s in Charlotte. I wanted peace to reflect on my many blessings, and to prepare for the upcoming year.
Mission accomplished. It’s Christmas Eve AM and it’s getting quiet outside, and for once, I can hear it. I’m enjoying the twinkle of my 4ft North Carolina Fraiser Fur with no ornaments, just an Eiffel Tower tree topper. Paxton’s sacked out taking his mid-morning nap and I continue to work, sending email to a teammates who won’t read the message until January 7th. Later on, I will step out for holiday cocktails with friends, and then midnight mass (yes, in that order–don’t judge, it’s the Catholic way, which I’m sure is written somewhere in the Catechism).
This will be my Christmas, and I’m positive it won’t be as “sexy” or picture-perfect as the many Christmases I will be a part of via Facebook and Instagram, and I’m okay with that because it’s perfect for me, perfect for this year.
Traditions are meant to be broken, revisited and then revamped. And sometimes between all that we to have a reset and just do what’s right for us, for that year. I’m resetting. In fact my whole family’s resetting, going in different directions and building their own family Christmas traditions. It happens and it’s okay. In fact, I find it refreshing, even liberating to create my own version of Christmas, or just wing it and see what happens. Over-planning at Christmas is no fun! And the way I see it, is that family is family and true family takes you in every day of the year, not just one.
Merry Christmas and may your day be filled with peace.
Amy & Paxton