Amy’s Adventures

Finally, the Oscars are here!  And yes, I must admit that instead of listening to today’s homily, I drifted to think about my favorite movies and the lines in them that “spoke” to me. Here’s my top 10:

10. Mommie Dearest - “No wire hangers.”

9. A Few Good Men - “He eats breakfast three hundred yards away from four thousand Cubans who are trained to kill him and no one’s going to tell him how to run his unit, least of all the Harvard mouth in his faggoty white uniform.”

8. Bridget Jones’s Diary - “The only thing worse than smug married couple; lots of smug married couples.”

7. When Harry Met Sally - “All I’m saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don’t get him first, somebody else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband.”

5. A Beautiful Mind - “Classes will dull your mind, destroy the potential for authentic creativity.”

4. Breakfast at Tiffany’s - “  You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. I must say, the mind reels.”

3. Gone With the Wind - “No, I don’t think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how. ”

2. Dr. Zhivago - “Tonya! Can you play the balalaika?  Can she play? She’s an artist! Who taught you? Nobody taught her! Ah…then it’s a gift.”

1. The Sound of Music - “Where the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.”

I didn’t  realize I’d miss the winter Olympics so much. Not so much that I love winter sports, but because watching world-class athletes fall on their ass is more entertaining than what’s typically offered on Monday nights. Namely, The Bachelor.

I hate this show and only watch so I can bitch about it and yell at the TV, “you’re sooooo stupid!.”

Yes, I”m cynical and I don’t believe in overnight, I want to live with you forever kind of love. It just doesn’t happen that way. What irritates me more is ABC’s obligatory request for future Bachelor/Bachelorette submissions. During each episode they advertise, “if you’d like to be the next Bachelor send us your submission.” This must be some kind of legal requirement because it seems each time a new Bachelor or Bachelorette is announced their just recycled old contestants.

Case in point:
Jake, Bachelor #14,  dumped by Jillian in Bachelorette  #5

Jason, Bachelor #13 dumped by Deanna in Bachelorette, #4

Trista, Bachelorette #1,  dumped by 1st bachelor, Alex

Meredith, Bachelorette,#3, dumped by Bob

Jen, Bachelorette #3, dumped by Firestone dude

Deanna, Bachelorette #4,  dumped by Brad

Jillian, Bachelorette #5, dumped by dad, Jason

Please ABC, I beg you cancel this show!!!

Lately, I’ve caught myself saying, “remember when.”  This phrase is frightening , yet unavoidable. So instead of  fighting it I will embrace it.

Remember when:

• You could get a deal on ebay
• E-cards were free
• You talked on the phone instead of Facebook or Twitter
• You could remember telephone numbers because they weren’t listed in your cell phone
• You went to the Dr. instead of self-diagnosing via WebMD or by watching Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil
• There was only 1 remote control (This may only be me b/c I can’t figure out how to combine all 4)
• Starbucks was for drinking coffee, not an office
• Photography was art and not a mantel of candids
• Stores closed on Sunday or opened at 1PM
• You paid cash for groceries and gas

When have you said, remember when?

The Tweetwaster says I should get a cat, but what do you do if you have already have one? I say, keep tweeting.  There’s no better way to meet new people, share ideas, laugh, socialize and just have fun. It’s a way of life!

Monday’s were made to do all those things you needed to do over the weekend, but decided to watch a Julia Roberts movie marathon on TNT instead. This is at least my theory of why I choose not to “work” or go into an office on Monday’s. However the past few weeks I must admit I’ve been a slacker and watched too much Dr. Phil. Today was different though, I kicked butt and accomplished more on my to do list than the past 24 days combined.

1. Negotiated discount on next oil change because dealer couldn’t deliver on hoilday coupon for free state inspection.
2. Found the number for my hairdresser who had been MIA for 2 months. Spread the joy to other desperate clients via Yelp.com. Feeling very warm and fuzzy for sharing my new diacovery.
3. Made a trip over to Melanie’s office to discuss design of new business cards.
4. Went to 3 grocery stores to find canned pumpkin for new soup recipe and ultimately found it at Target. And managed to make it out of Target spending only $7.00 (a personal record)
5. Called plumber for quote on new toilet. I’m tired of playing Plumber Phil on the current toliet so I may splurge on a new one. Trading a new purse for a toilet really sucks though!
6. Called domain provider to cancel 1 domain and add another. Coming soon: amyeandrews.com.
7. Found a great software program that allows me to edit my Tivo files. Finally, I can edit all my David Cook AI episodes into one. Oh how this makes me happy.
8. Wrote a draft blog post.
9. Finished my laundry.
10. And yes, I still watched Dr. Phil. I’m addicted to the Dr. Phil family.Those people are nuts and is a great reminder that kids, family, etc may be overrated and my life is not so bad.