Searching for the NBM Woman

Lately, I’ve been pondering the concept of NBM. Or what the online dating sites classify as “Never Been Married.”  I’m particularly interested in this concept for women 40+. Although the claim is that 40 is the new 30, when it comes to marriage, stats still confirm that that the average age for a woman to get married in the US is 26.5. The marriage rite of passage  is highly touted through the countless shows dedicated to finding the perfect wedding dress, having the most memorable wedding and the tales of bridezilla, yet I can’t point to one TV show or reputable role model that caters to the 40+ NBM women. I ask, where are the role models that tell us it’s okay to forgo marriage, that it’s okay living alone, and that...

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Sue Sylvester, an Online Dating Guide?

Every Tuesday night, I’m doubled over in laughter at the quotes rattled off by Glee’s, Sue Sylvester. This woman hates anything and anyone who gets in her way of winning year- after -year cheerleading national chamiponships. Sue once dated Rob from the local news, but for the most part I believe Sue has resigned to her fate as a single woman. And then I wondered what would happen if Sue set up an online dating profile on one of the many sites that are advertised during a Saturday marathon of “Say Yes to the Dress?” I often criticize internet dating. I just don’t believe it’s real. It comes across as forced and trying too hard. You have to put the person you want to be out there versus the person you really are. This usually...

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Cougar Boyfriends

It was inevitable that the women of the  Bridget Jones and Ally McBeal generation would grow into “Cougardom.” As a girl/lady/ woman of a certain age, I am not beyond looking at the benefits of dating younger men. Despite the obvious sexual compatibility of a younger guy and older girl, the younger guys are just more pretty to look at. Just go to your 20 year class reunion and you’ll know what I’m talking about.  Of course, I generalize and yes, there may  be exceptions, but for cougar women it’s a numbers game and simply, there’s just more attractive, younger guys in the world than men my age or older. So as I look at the world around me, I find the cougar in me wants to come out and play. If you see any of these boys,...

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A Goldilocks Love Life

It seems my love life is much like “Godilocks and the Three Little Bears,” but instead of wandering through the forest looking for food, I’m wandering through a jungle of aging men, self-proclaimed bachelors and Peter Pan playboys. After all, Goldilocks had to try Papa Bear’s and  Mama Bear’s porridge, chair and bed before she found Baby Bear’s to be “just right.” Does that mean that my previous two loves were preparing me for the “just right” one? Looking back, I’ve only really loved twice. And though I loved them both dearly, neither were “just right.” Let’s break it down: Geoff – Too Big Clancy – Too Small He thinks big and lives large There’s never a dull...

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Dear Ex-Boyfriends: These are for you

Sometimes I get a little nostaligc and think of the boys that got away or let me get away and eventually saved me from bad in-laws, Saturday’s at Home Depot and a shared checking account.  So as I rumage through my Ipod, I find a few songs for those boys left behind.  In the spirit of Casey Kasem, I count backwards. 10.  Better Off Alone- Katherine McPhee: “You help me figure it out, I’m better off alone” 9. Another One Bites the Dust- Queen: “You took me for everything I had, are you happy, are you satisfied.” 8. I’m Movin’ On- Rascal Flats: “I’ve dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons…at once I’m at peace with myself.” 7. Leave the Pieces - The Wreckers: “It’s...

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