Lately, I’ve been pondering the concept of NBM. Or what the online dating sites classify as “Never Been Married.” I’m particularly interested in this concept for women 40+. Although the claim is that 40 is the new 30, when it comes to marriage, stats still confirm that that the average age for a woman to get married in the US is 26.5.
The marriage rite of passage is highly touted through the countless shows dedicated to finding the perfect wedding dress, having the most memorable wedding and the tales of bridezilla, yet I can’t point to one TV show or reputable role model that caters to the 40+ NBM women.
I ask, where are the role models that tell us it’s okay to forgo marriage, that it’s okay living alone, and that having a perfect wedding does not equate to a perfect marriage? My fear is that today’s focus on weddings and the bombardment of online dating sites sends the wrong message to American young girls. Don’t they need to know that being single is not a curse, but another lifestyle choice to be considered? A choice that can come with benefits that far out-weigh those of marriage?
Being a 40+ NBM either by choice or by circumstance is one to be celebrated. They’ve kissed a lot of frogs and have far more insight to the world of men, dating, marriage and relationships than many of their married antagonists. I believe they need to be promoted and celebrated. There’s so much to learn from this cohort and I want to hear more from them. Speak up. Where are you?